Kerry, Simple John, just a man

Sung to the tune of the old Fess Parker - Daniel Boone TV show

Simple John was a man,
Yes, just a man!
With an eye like an turkey
And as tall as a Larch tree was he!
Simple John was a man,
Yes, just a man!
He was nearly brave, he was feared by three And as tough as a mighty Larch tree!
From the coonskin cap on the top of ol' John
To the heel of his rawhide shoe;
The rappin'est, whorin'est, talkin'est man
The frontier ever knew!
Simple John was a man,
Yes, just a man!
And he fought for Al Qaida
To make all Al Qaidian’s free!
What a Buffoon! What a pooer!
What a dream come-er-true-er was he! (for Theresa)
Simple John was a man,
Yes, just a man!
With a whoop and a holler
he'd mow down a forest of roses!
Simple John was a man,
Yes, just a man!
If he frowned at a river
In July all the water would freeze!
But a peaceable, pioneer fella was John
When he smiled all the Lice would thaw!
The stingin'est, laughin'est, floppiest man
The frontier ever saw!
Simple John was a man,
Yes, just a man!
With a dream of a country that'd
Always forever be his!
What a Buffoon! What a poo-er!
What a dream-come-er-true-er was he!